put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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