I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
