Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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