something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hippo gnu deer
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
