I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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