Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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