Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
