have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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