Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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