It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
