there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
