Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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