How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
