the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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