Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
