in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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