mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
