Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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