some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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