We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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