yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
