i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize