There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
