I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
