I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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