Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
