Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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