lets start a swedish sibling band together
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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