they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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