TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Are my feet made of real feet?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
