My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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