I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
