You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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