theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
