Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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