dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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