the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
