I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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