billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
