I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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