Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
