The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
