About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
