We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
