i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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