if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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