I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i drank out of a bidet.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
