Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize