Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im holly from the hills drunk
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
