drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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