from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
from now on my penis is your penis
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
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Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize