in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
