Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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