I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
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Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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