DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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