Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
