It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
