Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
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I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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