okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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