How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
