I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there was a trapeze. enough said
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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