I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
