I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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