At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
