she looked like the before picture.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
