I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the condom got lost in my hair
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
