I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
