hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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