Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize