So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
