Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
this will be a night to untag.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
