the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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