Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
