arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize